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AXEPIEGATE SCANDAL

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PIE LEFT NEAR BAKERY, ‘BIZARRE’, SAYS BAKER, ‘SEEING THAT THEY PAID FOR IT’

AXE IN PIE BAFFLES LOCAL LAW ENFORCEMENT, BAKERS

AXEPIEGATE SCANDAL FUGITIVE STILL ON LOOSE

DANGER LEVEL RAISED TO SUNSET PINK, FOLLOWING AXEPIEGATE, SAYS PRIME MINISTER

PIES ‘JUST FLYING OFF SHELVES’, SAYS BAKER

SUSPECTS NARROWED DOWN TO ‘VISUAL/LINGUISTIC MINORITIES,’ SAY AUTHORITIES

MANHUNT TWIST IN LOCAL DEATH THREAT SCANDAL

AXEPIEGATE CRIMINAL MAY REOFFEND, SAYS MAYOR, DANGER LEVEL RAISED TO PRECIOUS PURPLE

TRENDING NOW: AXEPIEGATE SUSPECT CAUGHT 

AZUCAR SPEAKS OUT FOLLOWING ARREST, SAYS AXEPIEGATE ‘WAS JUST A JOKE TO MY LANDLORD, YOU KNOW, GUYS’

TRENDING NOW #SUGARKING #FUNDAMENTALMISUNDERSTANDINGS

SIZZLING NEWS: AXEPIEGATE TRIAL SET TO BEGIN NOVEMBER 14TH, SAYS JUDGE

IN PREPARING TO HOST CASE, LOCAL HOME DEPOT ORDERS AXES

BAKERY OWNER SAYS ‘PIES ARE LITERALLY FLYING OFF OUR SHELVES, SERIOUSLY THOUGH, I THINK WE MAY HAVE GHOSTS, PLEASE CALL FOR HELP, I THINK THEY LISTEN TO MY CALLS TOO’

GUILTY/ACCUSED IN BIZARRE MURDER THREAT CASE TO PLEAD ‘NOT GUILTY’

‘OUR TOILET WAS NEVER REPLACED, RIGHT, SO SOMETHING HAD TO HAPPEN’ – AZUCAR

VIRAL VIDEO SHOWS KITTEN WITH WHAT LOOKS LIKE AXEPIEGATE LANDLORD STUCK IN TOILET, MAKES INDECIPHERABLE KITTEN-SNICKER

SIZZLING ON OUR BIG BURNER: AXEPIEGATE LANDLORD FINED BY SPCA, CLAIMS OWNER ‘NOT FIT TO OWN KITTEN OR OTHER LIVING SOUL’

AZUCAR ACQUITTED

PRESIDENT USHERS IN ‘NEW ERA OF FREEDOM,’ DANGER LEVEL LOWERED TO MASSAGE MAUVE

 

words by Liam Lachance

colour by T. Hanuka

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