How to pick up in public- and look good while doing it

miasto-kobiet_27-11_m

trigger warning

1. MAN UP: TAKE THE LEAD AND BREAK THE ICE! Ask where’s she’s going tonight all by herself darling, why she leans when she walks

2.START UP A STORY to showcase your personality- the time you almost got a tattoo, and got sick. Indian food. If she smiles, she is interested in you- good sign– and you’ll probably be able to hold her attention on the sidewalk to demonstrate your value. Ask about her tattoo

3. YELL AT HER if she’s too far ahead

4.SPEED UP IF SHE’S WALKING FAST

5. SOUND CONFIDENT:  That’s what women really want: Direct, responsible, rational men

6. MAKE A LINK BETWEEN HER TATTOO AND HER LIMP! TIP: If she raises her voice about none of your business, mention that you’re just being friendly- no need to be mad! If necessary, mention that you understand she’s sensitive, and it doesn’t bother you!

7.SHOW GENUINE CONCERN ABOUT HER WELL-BEING by asking about her limp- empathy is the best way to seem interested in a woman

8.YOU AREN’T TRYING HARD ENOUGH IF SHE ISN’T ANSWERING. TIP: Mention that she’s shy, but it’s okay: You like shy girls!

9.  SHOWING APPROVAL OF HER BODY WILL MAKE HER FEEL GOOD ABOUT HERSELF. Don’t shy away from the compliments! Women, like us, also love to be confident.

10: UH OH: IF SHE’S STILL PULLING THE DEAF SLEEPING BEAUTY CARD ON YOU, she’s extra shy: Mention that she shouldn’t be ashamed of her beauty, how you just want to tell her how beautiful she is! That she should smile, because she’s a woman! 

11. CHANNEL YOUR INNER DARK KNIGHT and try to sound grizzly and deep, because it will help her to open up to your masculine pheromones. Science- always a good thing to have on your side

12. DON’T BE DETERRED IF SHE STARTS RUNNING. After all, what’s a better physical test of your suit-or-ability than a little jog?

13. ASK HER ABOUT THE CAR ACCIDENT, WHY SHE LEANS WHEN SHE WALKS, because you deserve to know 

art by Renata Domagalska

words by Liam Lachance

Author: Word and Colour

words inspired by colour wordandcolour.com

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