PART II: IN CLAIRE’S DEFENSE
She was reminded of him when visiting their grocery store, bumping into their old friends, or, well, when receiving his Friend Requests.
I didn’t know they had Facebook in jail, she said.
Answering machine torn from the wall, she wondered how things could be so good for so long and stop.
It was like working your whole life as a doctor, she said, and then getting hit by an ambulance.
Didn’t make sense.
She didn’t always talk like that, and had picked up the tendency to make comparisons from him- her friends were aware, sure, but thought it might crumble the progress they’d made in rebuilding her happiness, afraid the reminder might erase the fact that she’d been able to repaint the windows: That, after a support night of drinks, she’d torn out black dahlias.
Erasing people wasn’t new- she’d done it before.
The guy she slept with in first year, a rebound while she was moping around, depressed about the end of a high school relationship; the friend who she caught stealing from her dresser; the uncle who she loved to debate with over wine until that dinner when he said No, Claire, movies with those characters aren’t automatically bad, I mean I’m sorry to say but women who are happy or sad based on their relation to the main character who just happens to be a man isn’t ‘sexist’: It’s realistic.
How were you expected to move on if the moments that got you to here, to the now, couldn’t be organized to make sense?
Things needed to make sense in order to classify the world, and understand everything about everything.
Although she wasn’t convicted.
Still, she knew he couldn’t have conjured it up himself- didn’t know enough about shoes.
You thought he might have told her before conspiring something so serious, and something so serious with her sister.
You thought you knew someone.
But life didn’t always make sense, and once she’d texted him sober before trying to delete the thing.
Luckily, it had bounced back- his phone out of service.
Right, she said, to an empty room.
The free flyer/newspaper said that he was out tomorrow.*