I didn’t miscarry her. I held her with so much love.

word by Cora-Lee Conway

colour by Giordano Poloni

I wanted to be a part of a club but I couldn’t talk about it. There is no evidence of my membership.

A mother in the making? In waiting? For a time? Am I a mother without a child?

I didn’t miscarry her. I held her with so much love. I took all the care I could. I dreamt of her future and loved her before I knew her.

I had cravings and I was tired. I was sick in the morning, noon and night. And I felt the weight in my soul and in my belly. And the lightness in my heart of knowing that you were getting all you needed from me.

So when I pass you by, group of dedicated warrior mothers, tending to your young like they are little birds, I ache.

I’d like to think I know where you are, that it wasn’t my fault that you are not here. I’d like to think that you are my first and that I won’t ever forget the short time that I held you, on the inside.

Am I a mother in the making? In waiting? For a time? Am I a mother without a child?

word by Cora-Lee Conway

colour by Giordano Poloni