word by Grant McLaughlin
colour by Michael Ward
Every time I see that sign, I can’t help but wonder what was the conversation behind that choice.
Could they honestly not come up with something better? In all their brainstorming sessions, was that really the best in show? No one involved thought for even a moment that maybe they should go with something more eye-catching?
‘Cause I’m not gonna lie. I can rattle of all kinds of better ideas. It feels like every time I’m there I come away having thought of yet another superior choice.
Is there honestly someone out there who grew up dreaming of the day they would be the proud proprietor of this: a tiny island of a shop amidst an ocean of parking lot swept up on the side of the latest superhighway. A forgettable piece of detritus that they could finally call their own.
Wouldn’t want to ruin that with a memorable moniker.
The lack of creativity is extremely galling. We already know that all we’ll find inside are shoddy sunglasses, miniature American flags, and a shit ton of cheapo cigarettes. That Family Feud list of things that no one needs.
The least they could do is dress it up with a better sign out front. A façade on the façade, if you will.
Are they describing the activity? What you’ll be buying? Just in case their patrons are so slack-jawed as to need the extra hint.
It could be a command. An imperative order to any who find themselves wondering what they should be doing with their lives.
Or maybe it’s simply old school arrogance. A belief that through their very existence they will be patronized.
“In my mind, it’s always been a concession. They know the tides of history have come out against them, the studies are damning, the fix is in.”
It’s a white flag. A desperate plea.
We don’t have a good reason to convince you, but we’re hoping you’ll do it anyways.
A discount name to match our discount product for you discount people and your discount dreams.
As rallying cries go, it isn’t terribly inspiring.
But I keep coming back, so I guess it doesn’t have to be.