On Past Lovers: “An Inability to Orgasm”

This story contains references to sexual assault

Danish Croissant, Mi Ju.jpg

For every man and woman I’ve been sexual with:

  • First boyfriend, first kiss; I evaded a first fuck.
    You touched me in places I didn’t want touching:
    The first man to teach me that my body is not really mine.

    “An Inability to Orgasm”

  • You were much older, and we were in the backseat of your car.
    I took my clothes off
    You were trying to rebound from a break-up. I was trying to prove something.
    “An Inability to Orgasm”
  • We kissed for the first time on my 18th
    Our lips touched, and I instantly recoiled
    We dated for four years. I never orgasmed.
    “An Inability to Orgasm”
  • Your lips felt tender until your strength became aggressive,
    I trusted you and you sexually assaulted me.
    “An Inability to Orgasm”
  • I felt comfort in your arms.
    I love you for accepting me, damaged goods and all
    I hate you for damaging me further, for throwing me to the curb like garbage.
    “An Inability to Orgasm”
  • The sensuality of your body brought me to the closest I’ve ever been to ecstasy.
    Thank you
    for the almost orgasm.
    “An Inability to Orgasm”
  • The wetness coming out of you made the lips of your vagina stick together.
    You wanted to see me again; I treated you the way men treat me
    I’m sorry for not calling back. 
  • Feminist politics, patriarchal sex.
    You came; our sexual tango ended
    I’ve still never reached orgasm.


word, “An Inability to Orgasm,” submitted by an anonymous writer, 

was influenced by A Haiku for Every Girl I’ve Ever Slept With

colour, “Danish Croissant,” by Mi Ju